I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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