so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
