somebody snuck up and got me drunk
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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