They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
