My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
