Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
