Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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