I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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