Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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