Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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