Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
