Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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