I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
