You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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