true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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