Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Someone came in the potted fern
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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