What a fucking waste of an outfit
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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