ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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