Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
