You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
