break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize