you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize