Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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