What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have demons in me.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
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