also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
