It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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