But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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