If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Who died my cat blue again?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
