the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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