I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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