i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
