so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
