she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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