I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
