Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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