But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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