Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
