Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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