So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
wanna go halves on a baby?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
