Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
