Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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