If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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