i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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