we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
