she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
