Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
