Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
