i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize