Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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