i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
