Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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