it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I need a beard to bite.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
