My hand turned me down
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
