That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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