this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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