pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize