The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Someone signed my nipple.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
