Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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