Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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