that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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