i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
