You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am available for nakedness
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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