I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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